Love and Relationships

What you need for a happy marriage?

Scientists working in research institutions in different countries, offering their approaches to solving the problem of strengthening marriages. Here are some of them:

What you need for a happy marriage?

Age of the spouses. Employees of the University of Vienna found that the strongest marriages - those in which the husband for four or six years older than his wife.

A clear division of responsibilities in the family. No matter who does the dishes, and who brings money to the family. The main thing that worked on this one who is better at, and that he knew that the second partner can count on him. This is where people take responsibility for strengthening partnerships.

Regular communication with each other. American psychologist Alan Berdzhestl believes that to maintain excellent relations quite a day for at least half an hour to talk. Unfortunately, many couples do not allow themselves and a minimum dose of communication.

Long enough premarital period. Texas psychologists found that the optimum & laquo; candy buketny period & raquo; It should last about one and a half years. Newlyweds, too hurrying down the aisle, may soon give up because of unfulfilled expectations. Conversely, those who met for several years, is not likely to experience sufficient confidence in each other. This may affect later in their life together, the lack of trust and love.

Is it possible to avoid fatal mistakes that lead to the collapse of family happiness?

Psychology professor John Gottman and Professormathematicians James Murray, who work at the University of the American city of Seattle, in 10 years have seen the ups and downs of life 700 married couples.
The painstaking observation and thorough analysisWe allowed them to develop a unique formula, which, according to scientists, is capable of a 95-percent accuracy determine how long the couple will be able to live together and that they are able to separate - only death or the numerous pitfalls of living together.

Method of American scientists is based on an analysis ofdisputes that arise between husband and wife. To get objective results Gottman and Murray appreciated the different intonations, facial expressions and gestures on a particular scale by assigning them to specific points, depending on the emotional color. For example, a joke that could bring a smile to a partner, evaluated them in, plus two points, and negatively tinged word & laquo; fool & raquo; - Minus four points.
In the proposed research partnersbet on significant themes for them, who were able to trigger an emotional response. These are things such as money, sex, politics, and education of children. During the discussion, the researchers counted positive and negative signals exchanged between the spouses.
It turned out that even the most robust pair duringstormy debates showed a direct or indirect signs of affection. It could be touching each other, peaceful gestures inoffensive jokes, irony and self-irony. At the same time problematic pairs operated aggressive gestures and facial expressions, made sarcastic remarks and otherwise showed irritation and impatience.

So, what can be called the secret of a happy family life?
The ideal ratio - a five positivesignals to one negative. That ensures observance of the proportions of a long and happy family union. In this case, the partners do not lose interest in each other, and in the family reigns advice and love.
In addition, the enemy of good relations - indifference, when the couple arguing, without feeling or hearing each other. Sad, angry and indignant as possible, in unison, say scientists.

about the author

Sofia

Reply